A Conversation with My Mother

It's Mother's Day today, and I find myself having a conversation with my Mom. It's bittersweet for me because my mother passed away in 2001.  As I sit here, I'm reminded of a conversation I had with her when she was still living.

Her own father passed away when she was only 18 years old, and he is buried about a ten minute drive from the house I grew up in.  But we never went to visit his grave.  I once asked my Mother why we never went to visit Grandad's grave and she said that it was because she didn't feel connected to him there.  That it was just his body, not his spirit that was buried there and that if she wanted to talk to her dad, she could sit on the couch in her living room and do just that.

I'm currently re-reading The Celestine Prophecy, a book I first read nearly 20 years ago, at my mother's suggestion.  I "coincidentally" came across a copy of it last weekend. If you've read the book, you know there's no such thing as a coincidence.  Anyway, I'm at a part where it talks about why were we born into certain families and to think about your parents and what they stood for.

This is why I started talking to my Mom today.  My Mom was into spirituality, believed in reincarnation and aliens.  Yes, she had read every book by Shirley Maclaine!  She also believed that if you didn't have anything nice to say, don't say anything at all, and that it was better to be kind than to be right.  My mother was graceful, patient, tolerant and incredibly stubborn!  She had her beliefs and convictions and no one could convince her otherwise.  In other words, she had faith.

I know why I was born to her.  She taught me all these things (some are still a work in progress, I must admit).  She is buried next to her father in the family plot, and I have since moved far across the ocean from her. But that's okay, because I know that, today, while I sit on my couch in my own living room and have a conversation with her, she is listening.  Thanks Mom, for all of it. 

Check Your Attitude: Is it Baditude or Gladitude?

It's easy to figure out, really.  When people see you do they greet you with a smile or do they nod their head then try to get away from you as soon as possible?

If people greet you with a smile on their face, then chances are you have a Gladitude. Yep, it's a word I just came up with  (I won't say I invented it, but it's the first I've ever heard of it).  In other words, you're fun to be around, you radiate warmth, people look forward to seeing you.

If however, people find any excuse to leave your presence as soon as possible without making eye contact, chances are you have a Baditude.  You're grumpy.  You whine, you complain, you gossip.  You suck the joy out of everything.  Oh, and you attract those exact same people to you.  Which, on the surface, you probably like.  Misery loves company, after all.  But for your own sake, ask yourself if you are truly happy.

Most people with "Baditudes" think they have to deal the cards life dealt them.  What they fail to understand is that they are the dealer.  They deal themselves crap, day in and day out.  If this is you, don't feel too bad.  You probably don't know any better.  It's a lifelong habit for most. But it's one that can be broken.

You know those "Gladdies" I mentioned earlier?  Start hanging out with them more often.  If they are truly glad people, they'll allow you this.  Good, now once you've done this, shut up and start listening to them.   Don't complain, don't moan, don't bitch, don't whine, don't gossip.  Don't try a validate or reinforce the bad day you're having.  Forget it and listen to the Gladdie.  Just soak up their rays.  Listen to the language they use.  Look at their body language.  Learn from them.

A bad attitude isn't a life-term sentence.  You can get pardoned.  It's never too late, and you're never too old.  Your circle of friends will change, you will laugh more and lady luck will finally be on your side.  Or, stay where you are and your life will never change.  It's up to you, as always.

What Are You Thankful For?

"When I started counting my blessings, my whole life turned around." Willie Nelson 

Do you ever stop to ask yourself the question "What am I thankful for?"  I don't just mean at thanksgiving.   I'm talking about on a daily basis.  When life is so busy and you're rushing around to get the kids to school and yourself to work, do you ever stop for a moment to reflect on the goods things in your life?  Recently it was suggested to me to ask myself this question on a daily basis, in fact, often, on a daily basis.  And it's been putting me in a great mood.

Here's some science on Appreciation:

When we're in a state of appreciation, our heart rate is more smooth and consistent.  When we're in anger, it's erratic and jumpy.

When we appreciate something, blood flows more easily and smoothly to our brain.  Anger restricts it.

When we are appreciating, we have an affect on those around us.  We actually produce warm vibes which others pick up on.  Have you ever been around a grumpy person and found their mood rubbed off on you?  Of course you have.  Well, good moods do the same.  So spread the love.

And all that, on top of what the Law of Attraction brings you when you are thankful.  Remember, you get what you give.  So giving off appreciation for what you have, attracts more things for you to appreciate. Don't you want to be surrounding by awesomeness????

What To Do When Meditating Goes Awry

The other day I sat down to meditate, as I always do daily.  I closed my eyes and took a few deep breathes.  Relaxed my body, got comfortable, you know the drill.  Usually when I meditate I do have thoughts that make an appearance.  I just brush them aside and try and clear my mind when this happens.

But this day was different.  For some reason, when I tried to quiet my mind, some negative stuff came up.  Memories of an old boss who caused me heaps of stress  (and tears) came flooding in.  There's got to be a reason for this, but I chose not to investigate.  I wasn't interested in going down that route because I didn't want to dwell on a negative experience.  But it's hard to go from feeling anger (which I was starting to brew up at this point) to peace and quiet.

So I decided to take Abraham's advice.  Basically, what Abraham says is that when negative stuff comes up, go general.  Don't try and "wrestle the problem to the ground".  Just go general.

I sat there and said to myself "Go general, Annie, go general."  I distracted myself away from my previous thoughts.  "Go general, go general."  I searched for a general thought that would make me feel better, and the thought that popped into my head was "I'm lucky to be alive."  A small smile appeared on my lips.  Then I went even more general.  "I'm alive."  Whoa!  A rush of good feeling swooped over me, as if I was in a wind tunnel.  What a powerful statement that turned out to be!  Who knew?

I then repeated it to myself, over and over again, and "I'm alive"  became "I'M ALIVE!!!! I'M ALIVE!!! I'M  ALIVE!!!"  All the possibilities and expectations of excitement, exhilaration, fun, adventure and abundance came flooding in, and a quiet meditation session became a "grinning stupidly but lovin' it" session.

So, if you're ever having trouble quieting your mind to meditate, don't beat yourself up.  Just go general.  Think a thought that feels good.  Mine popped into my head (from source, of course) and yours can too. You can try "I'm alive" but if you come up with something that works better for you, then do it.  Just feel good.

Appreciate The Heck Out Of Your Life

Do you ever find yourself wishing that your life was more than it is?   How about comparing your life to that of your next door neighbour?  Feeling envious about their new car, or new kitchen.

Recently I had a conversation with a friend who told me she felt that she was somewhat of a failure.  She graduated from Cambridge University, one of the most prestigious and respected universities in the world, and she was as a teachers' assistant.  She said she looks at her co-workers, who are younger and have achieved more in their career, and feels somewhat less in comparison to them.

I understand this feeling as it's something I have experienced in my life, as I'm sure many people have, but it pained me to see her so down on herself.

Here's what I told her (more or less):

Look at what you do have.  A beautiful, polite, intelligent daughter, a loving husband, a nice home, good health, good friends (we were out for dinner with a large group, so I swept my hand across the room to demonstrate).  You have many things to be proud of, and to appreciate.  Focus on what you do have.  It's a lot more than many others.  Life isn't a race.  It doesn't matter where other people are on the course, or how fast they got there.  Enjoy the journey, and make sure you do the only thing that matters.  Be happy.  If you have happiness, then everything else falls into place.

She looked at me and said "how did you get so smart?"  I said "I've had a lot of good teachers."
(It's true, I read ALOT of self-help books.  Like, obnoxiously ALOT)

What I'm trying to say is, find any excuse to feel happy.  Everyone will have their own reasons.  Quit finding excuses to be unhappy.  Why do we do that?  Appreciate the heck out of your life and the Law of Attraction will take care of you, for as long as you want.

2 Day Challenge: Can You Go Without Complaining?

Thanks to the Law of Attraction we get what we think about, and say about.  Good or bad, the Law of Attraction has a clear set of rules and follows them to the letter.  When you're having fun, positive thoughts, the Law of Attraction sends you more fun, positive thoughts and experiences.  Which is great!  Except......the flip side of this is that when your having a crusty, grumpy, prickly, leave-me-alone moment (or day) the Law of Attraction will send you more of the same crap!

Part of this less-then-ideal situation is complaining.  We all do it.  When something doesn't sit well with us, be it a personal, or even on behalf of someone else, we like to air our grievances.  We bitch, we complain.  What we're really doing is seeking validation from others.  "I deserve to feel this way!  I'm right, aren't I?"  is what we're really saying when we complain. It's our ego asserting itself.  The problem with that is that our ego doesn't always do what's best for us.  It just wants to be right, come hell or high water.

But we're not doing ourselves any favour by letting the ego take charge.  If the ego wants to complain, and if the Law of Attraction brings you more of what you're putting out there, then the ego has to be stopped!

Therefore, I have a 2 day challenge for you.

Day 1:  Don't complain, bitch, moan, sulk, or whine out loud to anyone, anywhere on any topic.  Don't say a single negative thing about anything and anyone, ALL DAY.  It's a toughie.  Even as I write this I wonder if I'll be able to do this, but I'm sure as shootin' gonna try.

Day 2:  Even tougher.  Don't complain, bitch, moan, sulk or whine to yourself, mentally about anyone, or anything ALL DAY.  Whoa!  Here's a little leeway:  If you do catch yourself doing this, then get off topic as fast as you can.  Distract yourself, busy yourself, read a book, listen to some music, meditate, you get the picture.

Our mother's advice "If you haven't got anything nice to say, don't say anything at all" was genius.  Mother's do know best!  Try it for a couple days and let me know how it went.  Was it hard, or easy for you to do?  Did you see any tangible beneficial results?  I'd love to know, but won't complain if you don't tell me :-)

Why You Need To Know Your Own Goals

About 10 years ago a good friend of mine asked me, out of the blue : "What's your 5 year plan?"  I looked at him with a raised eyebrow and said "huh?"  His question completely baffled me.  Not just the question itself, but the fact that it clearly showed that he had a 5 year plan!

When did I start hanging out with people who had goals, plans, ambitions?  At the time all my friends were doing the same 9 to 5 thing, living day to day, playing the cards that life dealt them.  Or so I thought.  I told my friend that I didn't have a 5 year plan (and to be honest, I said it super skeptically, to make him feel silly for even asking).  But he persevered.  "Don't you think you should?" he asked. I'd never seen him so serious before.  "Well what's yours?"  I challenged.

And then he proceeded to tell me his 5 year plan, year by year.  It took him about ten minutes to get through it all and the enthusiasm and excitement with which he told it both amazed and impressed me.  I felt proud of him!

                                                                   

I went home that night and started to think, is that what people do?  Have plans years in advance?  Oh, how naive I was.  I look back at that conversation as a starting point for how my life was going to change.  This is where it all started.  Slowly, quietly, but insistently.

I'm willing to bet if you ask most people what their 5 year (or 1 or 2 year) plan is, they'll react much the same as I did 10 years ago.  Most people don't take the time to plot out their own life.  They don't realize they have the power to do so.

But we know better don't we?  Once I realized that I do have the power to plot out my own life, I started to make plans.  I started to have goals.  They change/evolve/modify over time, but that's okay, that just means I've either reached my goals, or thought of something better.

I have my goals written down and every morning I look at them.  I go through each one and spend a few minutes visualizing them.  It takes about 10 minutes  Every time I reach a goal, I write out a new list.

Planning, expecting and visualizing your ideal life is the best way to ensure you get it.  Write down your goals, today.  It doesn't matter if they are vague.  Tomorrow you'll think of something clearer and more defined.  You're allowed to change your goals.  Fine tune them until they get specific.  Visualize them, and make sure when you do, that it feels good.  If you're goal is to become CEO of your company but all you can see is the stress and time away from your family, then that's not gonna be an easy goal for you to attain.  If it feels great however, then you're taken a very important and powerful first step.

Don't be worried what people think.  You don't have to tell a soul what you've written down.  In fact, if you're surrounded by energy vampires (usually well-meaning family members) then it's best to keep them on the down low.

Do you have a 5 year plan?  Or 1 or 2?  If so, I'd love to hear about it.  Go on, inspire me!