How do you stay calm, composed and maintain self esteem during a difficult situation? Here are some tips for you to consider as a starter guide to self improvement.
Imagine yourself as a Dart Board.
Everything and everyone else around you may become Dart Pins, at one point or another. These dart pins will destroy your self esteem and pull you down in ways you won’t even remember. Don’t let them destroy you, or get the best of you. So which dart pins should you avoid?
Dart Pin #1 : Negative Work Environment
Beware of “dog eat dog” theory where everyone else is fighting just to get ahead. This is where non-appreciative people usually thrive. No one will appreciate your contributions even if you miss lunch and stay late. Most of the time you get to work too much without getting help from people concerned. Stay out of this, it will ruin your self esteem. Competition is at stake anywhere. Be healthy enough to compete, but in a healthy competition that is.
Dart Pin #2: Other People’s Behavior
Bulldozers, brown nosers, gossipmongers, whiners, backstabbers, snipers, controllers, naggers, complainers, exploders, patronizers… all these kinds of people will pose bad vibes for your self esteem, as well as to your self improvement scheme. Avoid at all costs. I changed my lunch hour to avoid someone like this. It meant I ate earlier than I wanted to, but it helped keep me positive and sane throughout the day. Well worth it!
Dart Pin #3: Changing Environment
Change happens. Changes challenge our paradigms. It tests our flexibility, adaptability and alters the way we think. Changes will make life difficult for awhile, it may cause stress, but it will help us find ways to improve ourselves. Change will be there forever, we must learn to embrace it.
Dart Pin #4: Past Experience
It’s okay to cry and say “ouch!” when we experience pain. But don’t let pain transform itself into fear. It might grab you by the tail and swing you around. Treat each failure and mistake as a lesson. Write down what you've learned and move on.
Dart Pin #5: Negative World View
Look at what you’re looking at. Don’t wrap yourself up with all the negativities of the world. In building self esteem, we must learn how to make the best out of worst situations. If the news depresses you, simply turn off the TV or don't pick up that newspaper. It's not vital that you know what's going on everywhere in the world.
Dart Pin #6: Determination Theory
The way you are (and your behavioral traits) is said to be a mixed result of your inherited traits (genetics), your upbringing (psychic), and your environmental surroundings such as your spouse, the company, the economy or your circle of friends. You have your own identity. If your mother is a failure, it doesn’t mean you have to be a failure too. Learn from other people’s experience, so you’ll never have to encounter the same mistakes.
You may wonder if some people are born leaders or positive thinkers. NO. Being positive, and staying positive is a choice. Building self esteem and drawing lines for self improvement is a choice, not a rule or a talent. God wouldn’t come down from heaven and tell you – “Henry, you now have my permission to build self esteem and improve yourself.”
In life, its hard to stay positive especially when things and people around you keep pulling you down. When we get to the battlefield, we should choose the right weapons and armors to use, and pick those that are bullet proof. Life’s options give us arrays of options. Look for them. Be open to the possibility that they exist. It's much easier to find something we're looking for, then to accidentally stumble upon it. You can't avoid getting hit and bruised. And wearing a bullet proof armor ideally means ‘self change’. The kind of change which comes from within. Voluntarily. Armor or Self Change changes 3 things: Our Attitude, Our Behavior and Our Way of Thinking.
Building self esteem will eventually lead to self improvement if we start to become responsible for who we are, what we have and what we do. Its like a flame that should gradually spread like a brush fire from inside and out.
When we develop self esteem, we take control of our mission, values and discipline. Self esteem brings about self improvement, true assessment, and determination. So how do you start putting up the building blocks of self esteem? Be positive. Be contented and happy. Be appreciative. Never miss an opportunity to compliment. A positive way of living will help you build self esteem.