Sunday, 19 June 2011

Do You Take Things Personally, Or Let Them Go?

by Anne Bellamy, Author of Using The Law of Attraction to Help The Universe Help You

Last night I went to a pub quiz with my boyfriend and his co-workers.  It was a charity event, put on by his colleagues, and therefore most of the people in attendance were people he worked with.  Now, I must admit, that I'm not the best asset when it comes to pub quizzes, especially since I now live in a country that I wasn't born and raised in.  The questions generally are specific to the UK, and I'm a Canadian.  I do come in handy for the occasional "North American" questions, but aside from those, I'm not a lot of help.

It's this exact frame of mind, that, I believe brought about the events of the evening.  We ended up on a team with two other guys who, as it turned out, were pretty smart.  The problem came when the occasional questions that I did know the answer to, were asked.  My responses were handily dismissed and or ignored.  I found this quite frustrating, especially when I had to repeat my answer three, four or even five times and still they were dismissed.  Even when I explained why I knew the answer, I still had an uphill struggle convincing them. 

"Name 3 of the 4 modes of transportation Phileas Fogg uses in the book Around The World in 80 Days".
Ship and train were immediately written down, and then some chin-scratching.  It was at this point I said "Elephant....elephant.....elephant.....elephant."  Finally, the guy writing the answers looked at me and said "I can't tell if you being funny or not."  I explained that I was serious, and that I had literally read the book 2 months ago.  Still, I was met with doubt.  If there is a facial expression for "pffft" that's what I got.
It wasn't until someone else said, "Actually, I think she's right.  There is a part where he's in India."  It was then, and only then, that Elephant was written down.  (It was correct)

Name the highest grossing movie of all time.  "Avatar" I said immediately.  Complete silence.  "It's Avatar."  I repeated.  Nothing.  "Seriously, Avatar"  Tumbleweeds.  The guy with the pen picked it up and inexplicably wrote "E.T".  Okay, now I like everyone's favourite alien as much as anyone, but a movie that was made almost 30 years ago is not going to still retain the title of highest grossing movie of all time, if only by virtue of the fact that ticket prices have skyrocketed since then. 

My boyfriend, to be fair, believed me.  He knows what topics I'm good at and eventually said, "She knows her movies.  Write down Avatar."  Still nothing.  Eventually the 3rd guy said, "Actually, she may be right"  Still no change.  I was getting seriously frustrated and offended.  By this time we'd moved on to other questions.  Still, I kept looking at "E.T" with contempt.  Eventually that round ended and it was time to collect our answers.  I said to the 3rd guy "make him change E.T. to Avatar!"  Which he did.  (It was corret).

We ended up winning the pub quiz.  I told you, these guys were smart.  For me though, it wasn't a satisfied win.  I felt frustated, offended and insulted.  I tend to get that way when I feel my intelligence is questioned.  All the way home, I had a bitter taste in my mouth and was directing my anger at the guy writing the answers.
Now, I'm a big fan of the law of attraction.  I'm on board.  I believe it.  I've even written a book on it.  I know how important it is not to let our emotions control ourselves.  I know that I've got to stay happy and positive.  So, I woke up the next morning with a different outlook.  I was busy blaming someone else for how I was feelng, but really, didn't I bring this all upon myself?  I mean, look at the first paragraph I wrote in this post.  I brought the energy myself, that told them "I'm not very good at pub quizzes"  No wonder I was questioned!  I took their reactions to me personally, when I should have let them go.  If I hadn't been offened then their reactions to me would have changed.  I had only myself to blame. 

Do you take things personally when people don't treat you the way you want them to treat you?  Do you hate it when you feel disrespected?  Maybe it's time to look at your own actions and belief systems.  It's a hard lesson to learn.  Believe me, I know.  But I also know, that in order to bring more positive things into my life, I've got to let go.  Stop blaming other people.  Stop looking backwards and start looking forward.

Bring on the next pub quiz!  I'm ready for it!